When The Rescuer offers exactly the help the victim needs this is a legitimate help - there is a big difference, a clear example is a doctor who saves the life a patient - on the other hand, what would not be justified would be a father who sistematically does his/her child homework, this behaviour creates a harmful dependence by preventing the child growing as an autonomous and independent human being with negative future consequences.
Steve Karpman states that those who participate in psychological games, often exchange their roles. For example, a person who has played the role of the Victim, may get tired of being humiliated and suddenly becomes the Persecutor. Similarly, someone who begins as the Rescuer can realize that at any given moment he or she is exercising the role of the Victim.
Ineffective communication takes place because these kinds of dynamics obey past behavioural patterns, performance that reassures the individual because it belongs to their comfort zone and it is very well known and allows them to act at an unconscious level. Individuals are not aware of the mechanism they are using, and this behaviour confirms their beliefs and their position and prevents them questioning their approach so they remain in their comfort zone where there is no growth, learning or improvement.
Ineffective communication takes place because these kinds of dynamics obey past behavioural patterns, performance that reassures the individual because it belongs to their comfort zone and it is very well known and allows them to act at an unconscious level. Individuals are not aware of the mechanism they are using, and this behaviour confirms their beliefs and their position and prevents them questioning their approach so they remain in their comfort zone where there is no growth, learning or improvement.
Bear in mind that fluent, positive, effective and powerful communication is possible; Coaching and Positive Psychology are excellent tools to leave behind old toxic habits. If you identify in your behaviour and responses any of these roles: Persecutor, Victim, or Rescuer, or if you know about someone who could benefit and improve their communication skills, do not hesitate to get in touch with me. I am the catalyst that will help you to have a much better life. Allow yourself to be happy. Invest in yourself. Act now.
"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." George Bernard Shaw
I remind you that the sessions can take place via Skype.
